


Why Do I Put Up With You?

by spiralicious



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural (TV) Fusion, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Hunters, Community: allbingo, Fall Fest Bingo 2019, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 01:41:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21263021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiralicious/pseuds/spiralicious
Summary: John and Rodney bicker on a simple salt and burn.





	Why Do I Put Up With You?

“I'm getting too old for this,” Rodney complained for the umpteenth time that night. 

“Shut up, McKay,” John responded flatly has he hefted another shovel full of dirt out of the hole.

“What if we'd come across a grave new enough it had cement over it?”

John paused and stood up to look at Rodney, who was shoveling next to him. “Do they really do that?” He rubbed his back. Rodney wasn't the only one getting too old for this, but he wasn't as comfortable researching behind a desk and answering phones as Rodney was. 

“Yeah, they make you buy a cement box to put your coffin in...” Rodney looked over at John. “Will you get back to shoveling?! I'd like to finish this before the grounds keeper comes back in the morning!”

“That's going to be bad for business,” John got back to shoveling. 

“Another argument for retirement.” Rodney dug into the dirt again. 

John snorted, “Right, retirement.”

“We could retire!” Rodney stopped and looked at John. 

“And do what?”

Rodney sputtered a moment, he hadn't really given it much thought beyond no more hard labor. 

John's shovel hit something solid. “Hey, I think we're there.”

Both men scrambled to uncover the coffin and get the lid open. Once they confirmed there was indeed a body inside and it was reasonably the one they were looking for, they'd been screwed before, they climbed out of the hole. 

John had to help pull Rodney out the last bit. “Lay off the cupcakes, McKay.” 

If looks could kill, John would have been boiled into a puddle of instant goo. “You didn't have a problem with it last night.”

“I didn't have to pick you up last night.”

Rodney continued to stare.

“Can we get on with this so we can go home?” John looked for the salt in the box by the lantern. 

“I'm not sure I want you in my home,” Rodney sniffed, jutting his chin out. 

“I drove us here. Where is the lighter?” John shoved the canister of salt at Rodney. 

Rodney stopped killing John with his mind to thoroughly salt the body. “Your jeans' pocket.”

“It's not in my...” John patted himself down again, finding it on the second pass. “How do you do that?”

“Genius,” was all Rodney said as he stepped back from the edge of the grave. 

John flicked the lighter to life and tossed it in. “What would we do if the lighter went out on the way down?”

“I would shove you in after it,” Rodney replied a little too quickly. 

“You didn't have a snack before we left like I asked you to, did you?”

“That was the smallest candy bar I've ever seen in my life.”

“So make sure the remains are destroyed, then that twenty-four hour breakfast place on the way home?”

“That place is unsanitary.”

“Or I could leave you on the side of the road somewhere and I will get the whole bed to sleep in.”

“Do you think they might still have chocolate pie left this time of night?”

John smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> Because I maintain that if put in Supernatural, John and Rodney would be Rufus and Bobby. 
> 
> Written for the prompt "salt & burn" for the Fall Fest Bingo 2019 challenge at allbingo on Dreamwidth.


End file.
